what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do? what do i want to do?
i have no fucking clue
my motivation has ran away. my interests are seeming to disappear. and i just dont want to do anything. i have absolutely no idea what im doing at school. and ive started to realize that the one thing i want but cant seem to find is some sort of companionship. things are not black and white. i long for the problems i had to deal with in highschool, the decisions that seemed so hard then but so easy now. constantly having a list of over 10 things that i need to do scares the shit out of me. moving into the adult world absolutely blows. someone hand me a degree and a job and make things easier for me.
i really need something to refuel me. i need to find a passion, an interest, a hobby, a purpose, a career, a job, a book, a girl or just something that gives me a reason to wake up in the morning and not sleep in till its time for lunch.
writing that down kind of helped. im 19 now. where the fuck did the last year go? i think back to dropping off jake for his flight to boston and then to now and i can barely name 5 things that have happened in between. time has flown and now 9 more weeks till im done with my first year of college. then summer. a new apartment. and another new year.
by the way, absolutely loving dreams lately. they are really vivid once again, and im starting to dream about things that i want to dream about. maybe thats why sleeping is so attractive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Just so you know...it doesn't get easier once you get the degree and the job. I wish I were back in college again. HAHA! Miss you, love you!
Yeah, dude. I had a dream me and Emma Watson were hanging out. It was awesome.
Post a Comment