loneliness is killer

lotta sitting. lotta driving. lotta music. lotta lonely this past week or so. it kinda feels like everyones left me or is slowly leaving me. my dudes are all gone. my girl is gone. my parents left. n i saw them all leave. i drove some of them to the airport, and stayed with others until the last moments they had at home. n now it kinda feels like no one is there to do that with me. of course theres kelsy, and im thankful for her, and all my 08 friends, but with them its not the same because they have already been through it. apparently the uc schedule is the odd one out, as some people left over a month ago.

i just wanna leave i guess. two weeks of being home alone is boring when there arent many people to come by. plus douche bagger Rustom is never good company. just today he came home and bitched at me cuzz he saw i had in n out n apparently i was supposed to call him n ask him. i had it 3 hours before he came home while he was class and i was with kelsy and jillian. i think he is the main reason im moving out.

im worried that this feeling of loneliness will stick. i hope college is welcoming and that i find some people to hang out with. ugh, it sucks being last. oh well.

ive always wanted to be independant, but ive realized these last weeks that its tough. i cannot even make decisions about what type of shampoo to buy. the other night i stayed at nurf guns for half an hour. finally i picked one and then went back today to return it because my mom said it was too expensive. major bust. i just hope i am not getting ahead of myself.


empire state of mind by jay z and alicia keys is one of the best songs i have heard in a long time. makes you feel alive.

sorry for saying n instead of and.

i wanna write more but tired of saying the same stuff.

goodnight.

3 days