pain

my bitch ass arm and whole shoulder has been hurting for the past 5 hours. major lame. its like an ache that starts from the inside and goes out. ima chop off the upper right side of my body.

on another note, it is second semester. woot. double woot. triple woot. its very refreshing and feels like theres not much left to do. however, i do feel a urge to do track but my constant sleepyness makes me feel like it is unlikely.

i missed my uncles funeral. i chose not to go. i went to his prayers the first day of his death. but after that i felt no need to make the 200 mile round trip drive to san diego for 5 days straight for a man i never knew. its not my fault i know but ive never felt close with any of my family. when i went to the prayers, my dad cried. a lot. wasnt great to see him like that. my mom cried cuzz he was crying and so did my brother. but it just went right through me. i willingly went in to see his body with no one telling me to do so, after about a minute i left. no feeling. i went for my dad and i went out of respect but i somewhat wish there was feeling. after the third day of going my sister said she saw no point anymore. and she drove all the way down from nor cal for it. but apparently by not going to the funeral i seemed to have missed out. i first found out from my brother something way whack about my dad's ex and his other brother that has never been mentioned and never been seen. and secondly, my dad spoke at my uncles funeral. if theres anything i would want to see my dad do it is that. heard his speech was heartfelt, and he threw in some jokes, the khavarian way i guess. also learned that my uncle aided in the rescuing of hostages from teh 1979 hostage situation in Iran and that the United States granted him political asylum for doing so. i thought that was pretty tight. guess we be helping the country. theres so much non family in my family that i dont know how to feel some times. and now that i remember it, my uncles cunt of a wife looked at my mom and said "now its your turn." okay now i remember why i dont like my family.







meow