i woke up

with this feeling of disgust. this feeling of why am i waking up. it makes me wish i could just sleep for 5 months straight, and skip all the crap there is. why be worried about what the week holds when all that stuff is really superficial. why be worried about finishing a book when i should be excited to spend some time with it. it is a feeling that i havent gotten in a while but has been common to me. it kinda just wants to make me crawl back into bed and go to sleep for another 12 hours. i worry about so many things, so many things that in reality, should not be a worry. i have so much stuff to do that is made harder by retarded outside reasons. its the feeling that just makes you wonder why the hell are things going the way they are, and what the hell am i really doing. i hate waking up like this. it means the week is going to be like this. i wish i knew how to describe that feeling. ill name it. ill name that feeling fuck.


my grandpa broke his arms. im going to go see him today.