am i crazy

or is not being allowed to sleep in your own house ridiculous? the fact that youd have to call someone to pick you up, and take you to their house, because of sibling of yours says that you are not going to sleep tonight. and on top of it, your sick? and when you say you are sick, the sibling says that you are not. the sibling says that you were fine with your friends just a little while ago, while infact you were sleeping in front of your friends and barely taking part in any activity going on? and on top of it you were already in a bad mood from that same sibling being a douche and something else that just ticked you off. and once you get to that family friends house, to spend the night, you just dont want to be there. youd rather have your own car, drive to some park, and spend the night in the reclined driver seat instead of in a dark room with little to do and feeling quite lonely and out of place. you wish that the phone calls you were expecting came sooner or came at all because sometimes you need people. and the few phone calls that did come, which were regretfully from that sibling, you wish they hadnt especially when one of them is to tell you one of your friend's smoothie drink fell all over your couch and the fact that he is cleaning it up or that the the family pets somehow defecated in the house and apparently that is your fault. and then you look back on the day and just wish that everything went different. you see that sometimes some people together can really get to you and change your whole mood. and that there are others you wish you saw more of and was not the first to leave. you realize that this stupid repetition of shit that occurs, that ruins days, that forces you from your house, that causes you to run instead of punch back, to hop your fence and rip your shirt, to feel helpless in the light of the half moon, that makes you evaluate everything about you and about your life, that makes you wish for the year to come and go, that makes you want to try in school so there is no chance of living at home, that makes you want to steal the car and never come back, you realize its all shit

and then you realize its all you